So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize