It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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