I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
