Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
