I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
how does that bad decision feel?
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