You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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