ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
