This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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