I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
