You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
