Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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