The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
