you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
