help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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