i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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