is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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