I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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