I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
my poor anus
Randomize
