Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
