I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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