playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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