Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
