i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
