So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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