I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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