I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
