i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
