I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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