'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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