Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
