And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
