You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
