I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
