I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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