He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
