Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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