i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
