Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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