my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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