Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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