you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
