Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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