"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
