You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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