Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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