i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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