Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize