Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize