Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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