my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
