Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
