Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
