I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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