he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
