A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize