Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
