in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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