The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
