omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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