So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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