he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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