Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
