I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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